What NOT to say to a DCP

“As far as I’m concerned you grew up in a nice family with loving parents” (Sarah)

“Why do you care, you have a Mum and Dad” (Sarah)

“Stop sharing private family information” (Sarah)

“Aren’t you glad you’re alive?” (DCUK Consultation)

“But you must have been so wanted, remember that” (DCUK Consultation)

“But are you allowed to track down the donor, I thought it was all anonymous?” (DCUK Consultation)

“You’re still you / You’re still the same person, try and get on with your life” (DCUK Consultation)

“Those people are not your real family” (DCUK Consultation)

“It’s just DNA” (DCUK Consultation)

“Why open that can of worms?” (DCUK Consultation)

“But your Dad’s your real Dad” (DCUK Consultation)

“You were so wanted and your parents went to so much effort to have you.” (Christine)

 “Donating gametes is no different to giving blood”  (Christine)

“You should just be grateful to be alive”. (I was standing in a church when the God-daughter of my mother’s gynaecologist said that to me.) (Christine)

“It’s nothing to do with you”. (Louise)

“It’s like you’re living an episode of a TV soap opera!” (Louise)

“And? What difference does it make?” (Louise)

“I’ve heard about that. Isn’t it all to do with incest?” (Louise)

“A colleague asked what I was doing at the weekend so I told him I was probably seeing my new dad as it’s been a while, to which he said, “well, commiserations to your real dad”.” (Rosie)


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2 responses to “What NOT to say to a DCP”

  1. […] Share this post with your trusted people so that they know what NOT to say to you: What NOT to say to a Donor Conceived Person! […]

  2. […] Another common mistake is assuming that all donors are male, sperm donors. There are 4 types of donation, sperm, egg, embryo and double donation, and also surrogacy. Please ensure you are inclusive with your language.Donor-conceived people read the same terms or phrases many times over so please be mindful of avoiding terms which can feel diminishing or dismissive. […]

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