Please find below, examples of actual letters and emails that have been sent in reply to first contact letters and emails from ‘new’ donor conceived children.
Examples of First Contact Letters to new Biological Parents
Example 1
Dear [name]
What can I say? I too don’t really know how to reply? The simplest way for me is to write it around what you have written? So here goes……
I saw your photo and was quite taken aback by the obvious likeness, it was a bit of a “wow” moment. So I thought I would add a photo. I look like my mother, but little obvious resemblance to other members of my family.
To share the back story, not a problem. In [year] I was working at [place of work]. The job involved ongoing study, so I was a regular user of the hospital library and the University library, at the time I lived in [place]. One day while in the Uni library I came some flyers lying around asking for volunteer donors at [donation hospital].
At the time I was single. My thoughts were if a couple want to go down that path to have children, they must want children and all that implies, so it’s a good idea.
I went over to the [donation hospital], a short walk from where I worked at the time. I was interviewed, health check, educational background, basic description noted and accepted in the process for five donations. That was the limit. I believe that they were all for the same couple? The couple were advised to continue to have relations as normal. Donor anonymity was to be maintained!!! To be honest I did not believe that and I guess I accepted that this situation would arrive possibly? In the early 1980’s paternity could only really be checked by blood groups, not DNA.
I was and still am open about being a donor to family and friends. It was a conscious choice on my part.
As for records, the donation hospital assigned me a simple two digit number, I guess at that point I became a number …..
I started family research a few years ago, to find an individual born in 1942, from then come forward to now. My DNA profile was of little if any use in that respect.
However it was obvious that with DNA testing it was almost certain that someone such as yourself would also be on a DNA site, either in ignorance or surprise…….
So how did you find out? I am curious? I can think of a few scenarios, but I will let you explain.
How do I feel? I feel OK, curious. It hasn’t been a surprise to me. As I said earlier it was almost certainly going to happen.
I hope you have had a good life and are happy?
[name]
Example 2
Hey [name]!
This has to be the most carefully thought out email I’ve ever sent! You’re right that I was surprised to get [name] email, but only about the speed and not the content, as we spoke in July when she gifted me the Family Tree membership, after asking if I had ever been a donor (she is my maternal uncle’s ex wife). She has been into genealogy for a while now but I was not aware of how much she had unearthed.
A good friend asked me last night how I felt about the discovery that I have a daughter, and I honestly couldn’t answer them, mainly because my mind was racing. But the overwhelming emotion is excitement. As I write this, I am actually becoming quite emotional, which maybe shouldn’t surprise me as, although I have neither met nor seen you, simply knowing I now have a name for you, my own flesh and blood, is incredibly powerful. I never expected to know anything about any children born from my donations (which seems such an odd thing to type) but I defy anyone else in my position not to be at least intrigued if not keen to know more if they could. And this is why, when [name] asked if I wanted to know more, I couldn’t refuse, and so we arrive here! There are so many questions I have, so please tell me a little about yourself and I will do the same. Your parents gave you a lovely name!
[name]
Leave a Reply