Why the “So wanted” phrase can be very triggering for DCP

Being “so wanted” is about the recipient parents‘ (RP’s) feelings. Not the DCP’s.

What heterosexual RP’s “wanted” was a baby that was half of the Mum and half of the Dad. What they got for a donor conceived child was half of the Mum and half a stranger. 

It is a statement that is made for the RP’s benefit. To excuse poor decision making rather than respecting the life shattering loss of identity and understanding of self that can come from being donor conceived.

Being told you were “so wanted” can completely annihilate any feelings that a DCP can have about their conception, the ethics behind donor conception, not knowing their biological parent, biological relatives and not knowing half of their medical history.