Name: Stuart
Donated: 1983-85 (aged 19-21)
Where donated: Churchill Hospital, Oxford
The story begins as I was by the entrance of the college library waiting for a friend, and picked up some local science magazine that was on a shelf by the door. I was flicking through it, and one of the pages had an advert saying they were looking for sperm donors, and it was only about ten minutes away by bicycle, so I wrote the phone number down and gave them a call. I hadn’t seen that magazine before, never saw it again, and I can’t remember much about it, but I doubt I’d have become a sperm donor if I hadn’t read it completely by chance.
The medical was based on blood tests and an interview asking me about my and my family’s medical history. I was also asked if I was ok with my donations being used by single mothers and lesbian couples. I didn’t have a problem with lesbian couples using my donations, and was talked into allowing my donations to be used by single women, though I’m now glad I agreed. I was also asked if I’d be ok with giving up anonymity if that was an option in the future, and I agreed to that, though I didn’t think it would ever actually happen.
Donations were possible two or maybe three days a week, and the donations must have been frozen. I didn’t actually want to get paid, but they insisted on paying £5 per donation – it may have been a requirement to create a legal contract, and I ended up giving the money to Oxfam. I did also donate in Australia many years later, but I was so busy at the time and the donation arrangements were so badly organised, that I only donated three times, and I’d be very surprised if those donations were ever used.
I didn’t think about it much till the late 1990s, when I heard a radio programme in Australia talking about donor-conceived people (who were called “donor children” or “donor offspring” back then), saying that many of them really really wanted to know who their donors were. That seemed understandable to me, and I didn’t like the thought of someone looking for me without being able to find me. In the early 2000s, I contacted the hospital where I donated with updates in case someone wanted to find me, though I’m not sure if those updates were ever actually recorded.
I’ve been on the Donor Sibling Registry, then UK Donor Link (which became the Donor Conceived Register and is now Donor Conceived UK), then later AncestryDNA, FamilyTreeDNA, Gedmatch, then 23andMe for years. I donated 31 times in total, but I’m not yet aware of anyone being conceived from those donations. I’m presuming there must have been, or they’d have asked me to stop donating, and I’ve since had three children of my own. If I have any genetic children out there looking for me, I’ve made it as easy as possible for them to find me, and I’d love to find out more about them, though if no-one ever gets in touch, I’m fine with that too.
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