Hollie – Born 1983

Name: Hollie

Born: 1983

Where Conceived: Bridgett Mason Clinic, London

It’s May 2024, and I am 41 years old. My dad died 10 years ago this year, and one night over dinner, my mum told me that the person who, for 41 years, I believed to be my dad, is not my biological father. I thought she was lying.

I went home the next day and Googled it. Just found out I’m sperm donor conceived, and a whole community of people opened up that, until this point, I had no idea existed. I found the Donor Conceived UK website and direction to the private Facebook page. My request to join was quickly accepted, and I began reading people’s posts. Hundreds of stories just like mine. I shared my story and simply asked, “Where do I start? Any help”? The support and guidance were invaluable, and they gave me direction. I have ADHD, and part of my character is needing to know the whole story. I was never going to just accept my mum’s word. So, of course, I ordered all the DNA kits that were recommended. I read the podcast suggestions and book recommendations; I was task-focused.

An email advised me to expect my results at the start of June; the DNA results arrived weeks earlier than projected, and everything changed. I had 7 close matches, but it wasn’t clear what relationship they were to me, so I messaged a couple of them. Within minutes, I had a reply, a very carefully thought-through response from who I now know is my half-sister. she said I should probably speak to my parents because the fact I had matched with her and the others meant that my parents had used a sperm donor in the 80s. I thanked her for her thoughtful and considerate response and reassured her that I knew my mum had told me and my results had just landed.

She had done the ‘hard work’ for me after finding out by accident herself a few years previous. She was able to tell me my donor’s name and some basic information about him. he is still alive and lives abroad, and we have an aunt who is on the platforms and willing to talk about medical history, etc. Within 20 minutes of opening the results email, I had the whole picture. An email address for my aunt, and an invite if I wanted to join a WhatsApp group with two of my other siblings. My sister was also able to tell me of the other six matches who were comfortable being reached out to and who had removed themselves from wanting any contact.

I emailed my aunt; my sister had given her the heads up that I would be in contact. She responded almost straight away too, more than happy to help however she could, and she was happy to meet up. Two weeks later, we met for a coffee, and she was lovely. We’ve since met a few more times and I have met my sister, who responded to me a couple of times. I may meet my biological father at some point when he visits the UK. I would like to meet him just to chat but also respect whatever he decides.